Dear Stephen:

You may not be aware of this, but I love you. Your voice talents on Pocoyo have made it possible for me to consume many a meal as my toddler watches an episode on my phone. Your personal vehicle is a black taxi cab. You were the best part of V for Vendetta. Ok, that isn’t saying much. But, we feel similarly about this fine and insane country in which I reside.

The official and unofficial national anthems make me cry and fighter jets startle me as well. And, of all the rivalries to document, you chose Auburn/Alabama.

And, yes, I know I will have to get rid of this lady if we are to spend any quality time together.

Love always,